Vulnerability

5 min read

24 The sins of some are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them.

— 1 Timothy 5:24

As a church grows in love and spiritual maturity, the members learn how to become more vulnerable in terms of sharing about their own lives. One of the purposes of House Church ministry is to help facilitate that growth. Of course, growing in this area depends a lot upon the members learning how to ask for and to respect confidentiality, as well as learning how to prevent the gossip of other people while being “vulnerable.”

I remember when I first became a believer, I shared about someone in my family who was not saved. And I asked for prayer. The leader of that discussion group was actually pleasantly shocked that I would share something so personal and intimate—something that could bring “shame” to my family.

And for my part, I was a bit surprised by the response of the leader—partly because he was a faithful brother, and everyone respected him a lot, including myself. I wasn’t so naive as to think that it would be appropriate or healthy to share all the dirty laundry in my family. But I felt that my sharing about my family in the way that I did was well within the boundaries of “normal vulnerability.” Based on his experience, I guess it was “extraordinary.”

Building up a culture of healthy vulnerability is tricky business and can get really messy sometimes. Some people are not happy until everyone is sharing their deepest, darkest sins. On the other hand, some people are super uncomfortable even hearing about other people’s personal lives, let alone sharing their own. And so while we want to promote vulnerability, we also have to respect that the vulnerability level of everyone is just different.

Of course, one thing that will hinder the building up of a culture of healthy vulnerability is gossip.

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
— Proverbs 11:13

Gossip is one of those sins that are not always obvious, but it always seems to leave a trail of hurt and finger-pointing behind it. And it is not always easy to discern what needs to be shared with someone and what needs to be kept in confidence.

Sometimes, ironically, when everyone genuinely cares about the welfare of everyone else, confidentiality can be unintentionally, but easily, broken.

That is why building up a culture of healthy vulnerability is tricky business and can get really messy sometimes. And I am speaking only for myself and no one else.

Building up a culture of healthy vulnerability in a community requires healthy doses of accountability and grace born of faith in Christ.

Father, You created all of us to be in community and to glorify You in our community by loving and caring for one another. I confess for myself and for this community that sometimes get overzealous in our care and may commit gossip. Forgive us, Father. But help us to grow in maturity and confidence so that we can share our lives together in a vulnerable and edifying way. In Jesus’s name.