What Is Wrong with Me

4 min read

41 Again and again they put God to the test; they vexed the Holy One of Israel.

42 They did not remember his power—the day he redeemed them from the oppressor,

— Psalm 78:41-42

The apostle Paul pointed out that everything written in the Scriptures were written to teach us (Romans 15:4). And so everything written about Israel’s disobedience during the wilderness wanderings give us a model of what not to do, how not to be (Hebrews 4:11).

God displayed His power to the Israelites in very dramatic ways. But they continued to rebel against God and not listen to Him through Moses and Aaron.

We might think that if God had demonstrated His power like that to us, we would certainly not have rebelled against God like the Israelites did. But here’s the thing: If we say we believe in the Scriptures, God’s power demonstrated to the Israelites is also God’s power demonstrated to us.

Besides, I myself have had some pretty amazing encounters with the Holy Spirit—maybe not as dramatic as what the Israelites experienced, but amazing, nonetheless. And yet, how often do I find myself forgetting God’s power—His power to create this universe by His word; His power to orchestrated outcomes according to His will in a world where everyone seems to do whatever they want; His power to raise Jesus Christ from the dead; His power to redeem my soul from the hands of the devil? How often do I vex my Lord and put Him to the test?

Simple obedience means to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind—to cherish His presence in my life above all things. If that were me, would I not be seeking after the Lord through my obedience?

In fact, obedience doesn’t even seem to be the right word. Obedience suggest not wanting to obey. Obedience to the Lord is simply love.

But even if I do not want to obey, obedience to the Lord is simply fear of God—knowing that He knows better than I do, that He loves me more than I love myself.

May I live to love the Lord my God and to fear His love for me.

Father, You are love. What do I know of it? My very existence speaks to Your power and Your love. And I have seen Your hand in my life, especially how You have drawn me to You. Forgive my disobedience. Give me a simple heart filled with wisdom, filled with the fear of You. In Jesus’s name. Amen.